yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
