My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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