Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
