There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
