we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
