I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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