Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
