JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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