you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
