The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
