What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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