Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
is that a dick in a sweater?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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