I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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