Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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