I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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