If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
