So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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