I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
