In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
