it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
