dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
