I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
