i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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