remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
