i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
