we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
