I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
