Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
