How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
