Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
