They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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