he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
