Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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