I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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