:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
