Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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