White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
