What did we do last night that was yellow?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
