ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
