I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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