Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
