she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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