in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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