she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
