kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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