he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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