hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
