Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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