don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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