Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
